pottering | All This Time I Was Finding Myself

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All This Time I Was Finding Myself

Harry Potter

GENDER: Male
AGE: 18
SEEKING: I really have no idea, I suppose friends, I haven't had much time to think about the rest of that stuff
EXTRA: I may have just saved the world, but my friends might hit me upside the head if that's all I put, so, hi. I'm Harry. Just Harry. I'd be sort of excited if you hadn't heard of me actually.

👍 👎

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[ After he sends the message Sirius immediately apparates to the lobby, wandering around until he spots Harry seconds after Harry spots him. The wind is almost knocked out of him from the collision but he still manages to release that familiar, bark-like laugh he's so well known for and his arms wrap around his godson tightly with a fierce squeeze. ]

Look at you! Not a little fawn anymore, are you? Bloody hell, look at you!

[ As soon as he's released he grabs Harry's face in both hands without any concern for personal space, turning his head side to side with a grin that can light the room. ]

Aw, got your father's looks, definitely, what a shame. [ He's obviously teasing. ] You're right though, definitely your mum's eyes. lucked out there, you did. Fuck, Harry, look at you!

[ He sounds like he's in disbelief because he is, and he's laughing again when he messes Harry's hair on the top of his head before taking a step back to get a full look at him. He moves differently than what Harry would be familiar with; languidly, with ease and a tough of swagger. ]

Think you're a better wingman in your infant form but no matter, we'll figure it out, we're both smart lads, wouldn't you say?

[Frankly, most of the words slide past him. He's too busy staring at Sirius, at a young Sirius, laughing and light and without a trace of the weight that's pressed so much of the joy out of him by the time he comes into Harry's life. It's almost too much to bear, but he's borne worse than this, and Sirius' smile is as contagious as ever.

He barely minds the manhandling, he barely notices it, a lot of people touch him when they meet him, Sirius might be the first one that hasn't gone for the scar covered by his overgrown mop.]

Dunno, are we? I've heard lots of stories about you at school.

[But it is starting to catch up with him, how weird this is. Sirius is alive, but that much, he might've managed to let slide off him, from things he's learned since getting here about what this place is like. But Sirius is barely older than he is. He has so much ahead of him, and Harry does his level best to shove all those thoughts back down where they'd come from, while they're still little dark flickers in his eyes, before they can show on his face.]

I've got to compete with myself as an infant, do I?

Oh no, no mate, there is no competition, the infant beat you already, I don't know how else to say it.

[ There's no hesitation in the way that Sirius moves closer to toss his arm over Harry's shoulder, slowing guiding him outside with a grin still stretched ear to ear. He hasn't smiled this much in - hell, has he ever smiled this much? ]

All of the stories you've heard are false until confirmed by me, you just remember that. Until then they're all lies and slander, meant to lessen the true nature of my magnificence.

[ He's boisterous. Despite his three months in Azkaban, Sirius' resilience has given him the ability to feel human at least the majority of the time, and especially in moments like this. As he speaks he stretches a hand before their eyes as if envisioning his own grand magnificence before Harry, and he only drops it to push open the door to the lobby and step outside. ]

Can you believe they don't let me smoke in there? Got yelled at three times. Three.

[ Why he tried twice more after getting yelled at the first time, who knows. Sirius reaches into his pocket for a pack of cigarettes, pulling one out between his lips and lighting it with the tip of his wand before taking a drag. He holds it in his lungs for as long as he stares at Harry in silence, shaking his head all the while, and when he finally exhales he smiles once more. ]

You're friend told me that we've met. The pretty one, with the eyes, what's her name? [ He snaps his fingers before announcing ] Hermione, that was it. Sweet girl. Pretty girl, although I'm not a bit surprised.

[ It takes him a while to speak again, this time after staring at his feet for a moment, and when Sirius looks back at Harry his smile has faded a bit. He knows they've met. He knows that Harry probably knows but, ]

You know I would have never have given you over if I had a choice in the matter. You know that, right? Sorry,[ he apologizes before Harry can respond, his eyes closing. ] It's just,[ still fresh ] I always wanted you to know. I didn't want you to think I didn't want you. I wanted nothing more, Harry, you know that, right? I need to know that you know that before anything else.

I know.

[It's the first word in edgewise he can manage, he'd never realized before now that Sirius used to talk quite so incessantly, leaping from one topic to the next like—the comparison drives itself home, it's inevitable—like a puppy racing after a toy, but that terse line is back in his shoulders, and before he can stop himself, Harry sets his hands on Sirius' shoulders.]

Sirius, I know. Course I know. You told me. ...you will tell me. Or something. I'm not. Quite clear on how that works yet.

[It doesn't matter, does it? As long as he's careful not to say too much? And who's to say they'll even remember anything about this weird place when they go back anyway?]

I would've wanted that too. I did want that, but it just didn't... [He trails off with a helpless shrug, already butting up against what he can and can't say about what's going to happen in the next, what? Ten years? Fifteen?]

Can't believe you're not even going to give me a shot at winning the title back from infant me. Doesn't really seem fair.

[ He watches Harry closely as the boy seems to dance around what he can and can't say, and after he trails off Sirius shrugs and reaches up to pull his cigarette out of his mouth. ]

[ Get the chance? That's what you mean, right, you didn't get the chance. He raises an eyebrow but before Harry can respond Sirius raises his hand, halting whatever words could come up. ] You don't have to tell me. Between you and the way your friend spoke, I can tell that either my name was never cleared or I'm dead. Either way.

[ For a moment Sirius begins to stare off, over Harry's head to the sky beyond him as he loses himself in thought. And just like that he's back, blinking once and giving Harry a smile before bringing his cigarette back to his lips and taking a drag. ]

That's what war is about, isn't it. We all knew the risks. [ It seems like the right thing to say, but the amount of truth in it is debatable.

Sirius grins, then, and reaches out to clap his godson on the shoulder with a strong hand. ]

You're right, that's not very fair of me. I'll give you a chance. One chance. [ He says it quite seriously, holding up a single digit between them ]. Don't ruin it.

I... [Harry swallows, and he wants to tell Sirius everything, just recklessly charge ahead in the best Gryffindor tradition and tell him everything that's going to happen, so maybe Sirius can stop some of it, but he can't find the words to start.

Because what if he can't? What if Harry sends Sirius back to his world and everything still happens the way it had done, but this time Sirius knows it's all coming?

He leans into the hand, summoning a weak smile, a little shrug, and slings his arm around Sirius' shoulders as if they're just mates and this happens all the time.]

I hope charmingly awkward is a good angle, it's about all I've got to offer I'm afraid.

[ Whatever happens to him must be terrible, because both Hermione and now Harry have seemed uncertain as to how to speak to him when it comes to the future. No matter - Sirius isn't going back. James and Lily are here. Remus is here. Why in he world would he ever give that up?

A large grin stretches across his face when he feels Harry's arm around his shoulder and he returns the gesture with his arm around Harry's, dragging the boy close and taking his cigarette out of his mouth with his free hand so he can press an affectionate kiss to the top of the boys head. It's his little fawn, and although affection is a rare commodity when it comes to Sirius Black, it never will be for Harry Potter. No matter his age. ]

That's perfect. You can't just be charmingly charming, that's my act and the last thing we need is for you to outshine me. My ego is very fragile.

I don't think I've ever managed charmingly charming in my life. ...is that what the baby has over me?

[It's easier, much easier, always easier to talk like this instead of addressing anything underneath the surface. Sirius like this feels more like a teasing older brother, the kind Harry had wondered about having sometimes after escaping Dudley and his gang, and he even squirms a little in a little-brother way as his godfather does his best to embarrass him.

Even though he isn't certain he'll ever have too much of the little shows of affection.]

You're lucky I can't just tell everyone here I'm the Chosen One, that's given me a leg up before.

Sure you can! Don't you know how to talk yourself up, mate? You just have to tell the story in a way that makes you sound humble. Here, rule number one,

[ Sirius holds up a single finger between them, looking at Harry very seriously. ]

Never make it sound like you're trying to impress anyone, even if you are. I don't go around saying that I was one of the youngest and top performing aurors in my division of all time, because that sounds like bragging. You wait until they ask, and you slip it in there. 'Oh, are you free tomorrow?' Oh, I can't tomorrow, I've got a silly thing for work, but I can do Friday. 'What do you do?' I'm an auror, it's a bit of an award ceremony, it's nothing special, bureaucratic nonsense, you know how it is.

[ After he's finished, though, he snorts a laugh, partially at himself and partially at Harry. ]

They don't really call you that though, do they? I understand that there's a flair for dramatics but bloody hell, how do you not hit people?

Honestly it gets a bit wearying. My sixth year, girls were trying to slip me love potions. Almost killed Ron.

[Well, not the potion, the celebratory drink they'd had with Slughorn after the potion had been got rid of, but the incident as a whole had almost killed Ron.]

Mostly it's the Prophet that latched onto the 'Chosen One' stuff. Not important though, I won't get any of it here anyway. I can just try charmingly awkward and slip my accomplishments into conversation. 'What do you do?' 'Well I'm still at school but I've got a bit of a side business in defeating evil Dark wizards.'

[ Sirius gives a facial shrug that's caught between disturbed and impressed. ] Love potions. You have to appreciate their dedication.

[ His face, however, turns more to vague disgust at the mention of the Prophet, and he raises his eyebrows with a tired look before taking the cigarette out of his mouth and flicking it on the path before them, making sure to step on it along the way. ]

Yes, well. The Prophet is as good as the man running it, isn't it? They've always had a preference for gossip, glad to see that hasn't changed.

[ He can only imagine what's been said about him in the Prophet; terrible enough stuff to keep his friends from trying to contact him, apparently. Or get him a fair trial.

His good humor returns with a smirk at Harry's last comment. ]

See, you're almost there, but you've got a way to go. It's a charity, mate.

[ He pokes Harry in the center of the chest with a single finger, giving a sage nod. ]

A charity. You've got a bit of a side charity for defeating evil Dark wizards. Partially because you gain something from a business and I doubt you've gained much, after what's been put on you. ... And partially because birds melt when they know a man has a selfless streak. Only thing better is seeing a bloke with a cute baby.

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All This Time I Was Finding Myself

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