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Entry tags:
All This Time I Was Finding Myself
Harry Potter
GENDER: Male
AGE: 18
SEEKING: I really have no idea, I suppose friends, I haven't had much time to think about the rest of that stuff
EXTRA: I may have just saved the world, but my friends might hit me upside the head if that's all I put, so, hi. I'm Harry. Just Harry. I'd be sort of excited if you hadn't heard of me actually.
AGE: 18
SEEKING: I really have no idea, I suppose friends, I haven't had much time to think about the rest of that stuff
EXTRA: I may have just saved the world, but my friends might hit me upside the head if that's all I put, so, hi. I'm Harry. Just Harry. I'd be sort of excited if you hadn't heard of me actually.
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[It's the first word in edgewise he can manage, he'd never realized before now that Sirius used to talk quite so incessantly, leaping from one topic to the next like—the comparison drives itself home, it's inevitable—like a puppy racing after a toy, but that terse line is back in his shoulders, and before he can stop himself, Harry sets his hands on Sirius' shoulders.]
Sirius, I know. Course I know. You told me. ...you will tell me. Or something. I'm not. Quite clear on how that works yet.
[It doesn't matter, does it? As long as he's careful not to say too much? And who's to say they'll even remember anything about this weird place when they go back anyway?]
I would've wanted that too. I did want that, but it just didn't... [He trails off with a helpless shrug, already butting up against what he can and can't say about what's going to happen in the next, what? Ten years? Fifteen?]
Can't believe you're not even going to give me a shot at winning the title back from infant me. Doesn't really seem fair.
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[ Get the chance? That's what you mean, right, you didn't get the chance. He raises an eyebrow but before Harry can respond Sirius raises his hand, halting whatever words could come up. ] You don't have to tell me. Between you and the way your friend spoke, I can tell that either my name was never cleared or I'm dead. Either way.
[ For a moment Sirius begins to stare off, over Harry's head to the sky beyond him as he loses himself in thought. And just like that he's back, blinking once and giving Harry a smile before bringing his cigarette back to his lips and taking a drag. ]
That's what war is about, isn't it. We all knew the risks. [ It seems like the right thing to say, but the amount of truth in it is debatable.
Sirius grins, then, and reaches out to clap his godson on the shoulder with a strong hand. ]
You're right, that's not very fair of me. I'll give you a chance. One chance. [ He says it quite seriously, holding up a single digit between them ]. Don't ruin it.
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Because what if he can't? What if Harry sends Sirius back to his world and everything still happens the way it had done, but this time Sirius knows it's all coming?
He leans into the hand, summoning a weak smile, a little shrug, and slings his arm around Sirius' shoulders as if they're just mates and this happens all the time.]
I hope charmingly awkward is a good angle, it's about all I've got to offer I'm afraid.
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A large grin stretches across his face when he feels Harry's arm around his shoulder and he returns the gesture with his arm around Harry's, dragging the boy close and taking his cigarette out of his mouth with his free hand so he can press an affectionate kiss to the top of the boys head. It's his little fawn, and although affection is a rare commodity when it comes to Sirius Black, it never will be for Harry Potter. No matter his age. ]
That's perfect. You can't just be charmingly charming, that's my act and the last thing we need is for you to outshine me. My ego is very fragile.
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[It's easier, much easier, always easier to talk like this instead of addressing anything underneath the surface. Sirius like this feels more like a teasing older brother, the kind Harry had wondered about having sometimes after escaping Dudley and his gang, and he even squirms a little in a little-brother way as his godfather does his best to embarrass him.
Even though he isn't certain he'll ever have too much of the little shows of affection.]
You're lucky I can't just tell everyone here I'm the Chosen One, that's given me a leg up before.
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[ Sirius holds up a single finger between them, looking at Harry very seriously. ]
Never make it sound like you're trying to impress anyone, even if you are. I don't go around saying that I was one of the youngest and top performing aurors in my division of all time, because that sounds like bragging. You wait until they ask, and you slip it in there. 'Oh, are you free tomorrow?' Oh, I can't tomorrow, I've got a silly thing for work, but I can do Friday. 'What do you do?' I'm an auror, it's a bit of an award ceremony, it's nothing special, bureaucratic nonsense, you know how it is.
[ After he's finished, though, he snorts a laugh, partially at himself and partially at Harry. ]
They don't really call you that though, do they? I understand that there's a flair for dramatics but bloody hell, how do you not hit people?
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[Well, not the potion, the celebratory drink they'd had with Slughorn after the potion had been got rid of, but the incident as a whole had almost killed Ron.]
Mostly it's the Prophet that latched onto the 'Chosen One' stuff. Not important though, I won't get any of it here anyway. I can just try charmingly awkward and slip my accomplishments into conversation. 'What do you do?' 'Well I'm still at school but I've got a bit of a side business in defeating evil Dark wizards.'
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[ His face, however, turns more to vague disgust at the mention of the Prophet, and he raises his eyebrows with a tired look before taking the cigarette out of his mouth and flicking it on the path before them, making sure to step on it along the way. ]
Yes, well. The Prophet is as good as the man running it, isn't it? They've always had a preference for gossip, glad to see that hasn't changed.
[ He can only imagine what's been said about him in the Prophet; terrible enough stuff to keep his friends from trying to contact him, apparently. Or get him a fair trial.
His good humor returns with a smirk at Harry's last comment. ]
See, you're almost there, but you've got a way to go. It's a charity, mate.
[ He pokes Harry in the center of the chest with a single finger, giving a sage nod. ]
A charity. You've got a bit of a side charity for defeating evil Dark wizards. Partially because you gain something from a business and I doubt you've gained much, after what's been put on you. ... And partially because birds melt when they know a man has a selfless streak. Only thing better is seeing a bloke with a cute baby.